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Guide to Geek Girls (The Sequel)

by:  Chelle

I found my friend Gservo's article on "Geek Guys" hysterical.  Not to be outdone, I decided to write this from a woman's perspective.  While I believe this guide should be written in 2 parts, one for geek guys and one for non-geek guys, I'll do my best to generalize it. This is my version based on a couple interesting articles I found on Guides to Geek Girls.

Finding the Geek Girl

Girl geeks are a minority in a male dominant environment. As the ratio of guy:girl geeks are overwhelmingly in favor of guys, we're harder to find. Half the time you probably don't even realize we're here. Many use screen names that aren't obviously gender-specific (myself excluded) and girl geeks sometimes obfuscate their gender in order to be taken more seriously.  We have to work harder in the tech world to prove geek-worthiness, since having breasts seems to be an automatic assumption that we stumbled onto a tech forum by mistake. Because earning geek status is such a challenge, we either get really good at what we do, or give it up entirely.

The Approach

We are more attracted to intelligence than testosterone, so don't come on like a neanderthal. Most geek girls have had to endure a lot of harassment, criticism, over-inflated egos and sexual innuendo from their male counterparts and are wary of being approached. We do not respond kindly to "Hey baby wanna tweak my driver?" from someone with a screenname like "BYTE_THIS".

Winning Her Over

Be sincere and honest, and be genuinely interested in her work.  Understand her passion. Take the time to see what she does, and what she's done. Feel her excitement when she launches a site, writes a Java applet that doesn't crash, or hacks into Apache for the first time. Shower her with amusing email, cool URLs and odd bits of USENET lore. Write secret letters to her on your website. Read her favorite newsgroups for a while; verse yourself in her interests. Do NOT submit her URL to "Babes on the Web." No matter how cool you think it is.

Friendships

Due to the male:female geek ratio, chances are RL girlfriends will not be fellow geeks. This is an obstacle sometimes because non-geek girls just don't "get" what we do. We can't talk about scripts and hacks over lunch without drawing blank stares, and often find incessant babble about the latest Martha Stewart bed linen fashion to be an uninteresting topic of conversation. Luckily for women the topics of love, children and family are universal and is usually a safe topic to stick with.

Mall shopping trips with non-geek girlfriends can get ugly. While they're off in the craft and candle shops, the geek girl's homing device magnetically draws her to the electronics and software shops, it's best to incorporate a paging or buddy system with your girlfriends, so as not to lose one another. Online friendships with non-geek girls can be difficult. In order to maintain a successful friendship the non-geek girl must understand (and not be offended by) the universal code for "STFU and stop IM'ing me" which translates to "I'm coding".

Fashion & Lifestyle

Don't be lead by the misconception all geek girls are homely, societal misfits. We've come a long way. We don't wear thick glasses and ugly clothing. With the help of online shopping networks, we're very fashion-conscious. We can clean up pretty nice, and function well in social settings. We're also health-conscious, and unlike our male counterparts, we're more apt to snack on popcorn or high-grain snacks over pre-packaged cakes and Doritos. Coffee however, is essential and depending on the time of the month, chocolate.

Geek girls tend to have incredible stamina. Unlike Geek Guys, we are adept at maintaining our online projects AND our households. We are not exempt from domestic-type duties. We raise children, go to work, do laundry, clean our houses, cook meals, and have the ability to stay up half the night programming. 8 hours sleep is purely frivolous. We're proficient multi-taskers, and can paint our nails while coding, do a load of laundry while running a process and cook a meal while installing a database.

In closing

Remember that a geek girl is a rewarding choice for a happy life. Unencumbered by many of the more ridiculous of society's trappings, she is a comfortable person who uses her brain and who wants to be with someone who does the same. If you qualify, a geek girl may be for you!

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